Poland is not a good place to be if you’re single, especially if you are a single woman. I read a very scary statistic not so long ago, or rather my PRACTICAL SILESIAN WIFE translated it from a magazine here. It said, that if you’re a single woman, over the age of 40, living in Poland, it is more likely that you will be the victim of a bear attack than find a husband.
Why bear attacks? Do Polish women start hanging around forests when they reach forty? And if so, why? Are they exiled to the forest as punishment for not having secured a husband? Or have they given up on dating Polish men and are taking their chances with a different species? I can’t blame them. The dating options for Polish women of any age are bad. Internet dating sites? Probably the worst place on earth to find a partner. Looking at the profiles I see a lot of the same remarks – ‘Write to me if you have courage’ – this from guys who don’t have the courage to leave their bedrooms.
Internet dating is a modern convenience, it makes things easier and faster. The equivalent of a microwave oven or cheating in an exam. You get a result but you’re not developing yourself. Some of you will offer what you think are good reasons for using internet dating –
I work long and hard and don’t have time to meet someone – what are you, a Roman slave? If you’re working so hard that you don’t have time to meet someone, how are you going to have time to develop a relationship?
People are less nervous on the internet, you can get to know them better – really? 80% of communication is non-lingual. It’s not what people say, it’s what they do that counts. Can the internet allow you to see the good manners of someone opening the door for you? Can it let you hear them burping loudly after eating a kilo of kaszanka?
Polish people need to look at internet dating sites in a different way – the people on those sites are the one you should be avoiding. That’s why their pictures are up there – if you see these freaks on the street, run and hide under a car. The people who are leading interesting lives, developing themselves and who have time to sustain a relationship aren’t on those sites, they’re in hill walking clubs, they’re sitting next to you in a class, they’re playing in a squash tournament, they’re at a music festival, skiing or photographing old abandoned houses. Try talking to them. It takes courage, but it’s more rewarding.
I sympathise with Polish women. I can understand why the internet appears to be a solution. Polish women haven’t been told that it’s okay for them to make the first move. When they are out in the pub they expect Polish men to make the first move. Let me tell you that the only way a Polish man will make the first move, is if you are standing between him and a bottle of vodka. My advice? Get out there and start flirting and however much you think you’re flirting you need to quadruple it, because Polish men don’t understand flirting. Women’s magazines like Cosmo and Elle try to teach you how to flirt to attract a man’s attention. They say, fiddle with your hair, fiddle with your earrings, fiddle with you cleavage – I say don’t do this at all, the Polish man won’t know you’re flirting, he’ll just think you’ve got fleas.
My PRACTICAL SILESIAN WIFE doesn’t agree with my opinions on internet dating. How can I comment, she says, as I’ve never tried it. Okay, I will try it and next week you can read what happened to me when I try internet dating as a man and as a woman.
notes from middle-earth 